Hope, Strength, Courage

It has been a while since I last blogged. I have so much things in my head and I think I should let it out here. Have you ever felt helpless? Useless? Pathetic? Thinking this new year would do me any good, hurmm, it went the other way around. What can I say, I kinda hate my little life. People keep pushing me away until I cant breathe. My life shattered into pieces and I almost lost my loved ones. I tried so hard to be optimistic but I just cant do it, not alone. How could I be so dumb making wrong choices every time? I feel so numb I cant even think clearly. The last two days, I ve been swallowed aspirin, it is just that my head is about to explode, I cant sleep at night thinking how to get the hell out of the mess. Is there any pieces of miracle left for me? I wonder... I really don't know how to deal with this mess, I can't keep dragging you in my mess. I am so sorry I couldn't promise you anything. What is left for me then? It is me against the world. Over and over I thought, without hear you call, without you in my life baby, I just wouldn't be living at all. I thought for an instance, I am going to lose you but you are still here standing right behind me and smiling back at me saying everything is going to be just fine. When you think the world is cruel to you, there will be this one person will support you no matter what it takes. Hey, nobody wants to be lonely. You are like a serenade whispering in my ears, my guardian of angel sent from above. Who would have thought that a person like you would drawn into me. Life is full with mysteries, there is more chapters about to be unlocked. You just got to find a right key to open the pandora box. Its all up to us to open the box, it could be poison, it could be cure to kiss all the problems away. All I can do right now is to make you smile and trust me one day, both of us gonna look back and laugh. I HEART YOU 'J'